Parshat Tetzaveh: Empathy and Compassion
Appearing confident, a businessman in a nice suit walks into your Shul and sits down in an empty seat. You notice you have never seen him before – he must be new to town. You make your way over to welcome him and introduce yourself, all while keeping in mind a lesson from Rabbeinu Bachaya from this week’s Parsha.
In the introduction to Parshat Tetzaveh, Rabbeinu Bachaya talks about the proper way to approach someone who has left his home and his familiar surroundings and moved to a new city. In Mishlei (27:8) Shlomo HaMelech compares this person to a bird who has left his nest. When one leaves their birthplace, the place they call home, there is a level of discomfort. There is a loss of familiarity and there is uncertainty as to what lies ahead. Even when a person chooses to move onto a new situation, there might be doubt and discomfort that he experiences.
When someone notices the newcomer, Shlomo Hamelech empowers him to ease the transition: “Shemen U’Ketoret yismach lev, u’metek rei’ayhu mei’atzat nefesh – Oil and incense gladden one’s heart, along with the sweetness of friendship that stems from one’s soul.” (Mishlei 27:9).
Rabbeinu Bachaya explains that the “oil and incense” refer to providing nutritious meals to a newcomer, the “sweetness of friendship” refers to welcoming him with a sweet smile and kind and pleasant words, and “advice of one’s soul” refers to the intellectual soul that tells us to deliver everything to the newcomer in a manner of genuine care and concern, as well. When welcoming someone, we must extend our heart to them, and feel for them.
Rabbi Henoch Liebowitz, zt”l, took note of the additional component of not only delivering the “sweetness of friendship,” but also doing so with the “advice of one’s soul.” It is not enough to provide nutritious meals, a smile, and pleasant conversation – it must stem from an internal sense of genuine care and concern. It must be internal as well as external.
Shlomo Hamelech teaches us that anyone moving past their own comfort zone experiences an internal void similar to the void of someone leaving their hometown. When we see anyone on their own journey of growth, perhaps unsure of their next steps, or doubting themselves, we have the opportunity to properly respond. We must show empathy and compassion and really try to feel how someone else might be feeling and what they are experiencing. When we approach a newcomer or someone on a journey of growth we must be cognizant of Shlomo Hamelech’s appraisal of that person’s current state. When we really feel for our fellow Jew, it helps ensure that we are acting toward them with genuine feelings of care and concern, thereby increasing Ahavat Yisrael – love for our fellow Jew.
Shabbat Shalom!