Parshat Beshalach Exodus 13:17
I’m often caught between a rock and a hard place. Do I make this decision or that one? Neither is ideal, but one is going to turn out to be better than the other. Using all of the information and resources available, iy”H with Gd’s help, I endeavor to make the best decision possible.
None of us knows the plan on the other side of Hashem’s tapestry, so when we are caught between a metaphoric army of Egyptian soldiers gaining on us from the rear and a deep sea ahead, what do we do? In Parshat Beshalach, Bnai Yisrael face exactly that dilemma. Soon after fleeing Mitzrayim, they find themselves being chased by Pharoah’s men intent on bringing them back to servitude. Trapped between the armies and the sea, where are Bnai Yisrael to go now? There is no time for a deliberative cost-benefit analysis. Hashem instructs Moshe to raise his staff over the water, and powerfully splits the sea to allow His people to cross over dry land. Once they are safely on the other side, the sea closes, drowning the soldiers. Decision well-played.
In times of high stress, when we feel we have no good options, how do we respond? Do we freeze out of fear or give up, feeling hopeless? Or rather, in one of my all-time favorite movie lines, Dori from Finding Nemo says: “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.” The only way out of a dilemma is to take that first step into the sea and keep moving forward, holding fast to the knowledge that Hashem is always with us and has a plan for us.
Children, as befits their developmental skill level and limited life experience, frequently find themselves in situations in which they don’t know what to do or how to handle themselves. If the choice they make is a good one, we want to recognize their decision to reinforce the behavior. When they make a poor decision, however, they need to be given the opportunity to experience natural consequences in order to learn not to make the same choice again.
Because life is full of dilemmas, central to the social-emotional learning we provide at OCA are the enduring life lessons that will help our students safely make it through difficult or uncertain situations in which there is no clear path forward.
- There are no perfect decisions or perfect moments.
When there are no clearly ideal choices, we can only try our best. Rather than wait for the perfect moment or the perfect choice, we make the most of what we have.
- Just keep swimming.
When we find ourselves in a difficult situation, we move through it, persevering one step at a time. Remember that embarrassment is fleeting. Action is empowering.
- Remain adaptable and flexible.
We can always find a new way to navigate a difficult situation or solve a challenging problem when we stay flexible and be willing to adjust our approach or view the problem with a fresh perspective.
- Trust in Hashem.
None of us is alone. Hashem has a plan for us that is ours to discover.
Over time, with adult-guided reflection and problem-solving support both in school and at home, children gradually internalize those pro-social decision-making patterns to become confident, successful, and well-adjusted adults. Along the way, we get to reap the nachat from having had the privilege of playing a part in their growth. B’H.
Shabbat Shalom!