There is a phrase that resonates written on a mug gifted to me by a mentor. It reads, “Who you are is more important than what you know.” Throughout our history, woven into the fabric of our peoplehood, we have always emphasized knowledge and academics. At the same time, we have understood that knowledge alone, that does not translate into positive action, misses the point. As we are taught in Pirkei Avot, “It is not the study which is most important, rather it is action.” What Jewish parents deeply wish for their children, even more so than academic achievement, is for them to become good, kind, and caring individuals.
This emphasis on middot and character is demonstrated in this week’s parsha, Vayera. After Avraham has passed nine difficult tests of faith sent to him by Hashem, he is tested again with “Please take your son and offer him up as a sacrifice…” (22:2). Rav Shimon Schwab ZT’L wondered why G-d prefaced this request with the word, “please.” He explains that, although Avraham was able to personally pass the previous nine tests, if he were unable to imbue Yitzchak with this same loyalty, dedication, and value system, the other tests would prove meaningless. It is only when the Torah vividly describes the scene of Akeidat Yitzchak as, “the two of them went together,” do we note Avraham’s ultimate success in transmitting the Torah way of life to his son. Yitzchak willingly agrees to whatever Hashem has dictated.
It was, in fact, this emphasis of Avraham, to impart a way of Torah life to his children, that was the impetus for Hashem to choose him to be the ancestor of Bnai Yisrael. Hashem says in the parsha, “because I know that he will command his children after his ways and guard the way of Hashem to perform charity and justice.” (18:19)
As parents and educators, we are reminded that our actions indeed speak much louder than our words. What our children notice about our behaviors, reactions, and initiatives becomes the path we pave for their own lives. Do they notice a smile or a grimace when a tzedakah collector knocks on our door? Do they sense the joy we have as we prepare for Shabbat? Are they learning honesty and integrity by observing us navigate social interactions?
I always felt it is important for children (at the appropriate age, of course) to be brought to shul and daven next to their parents. Let your children see you going to a shiur. Include your child in Shabbat and holiday preparations. Bring your child along to perform a chesed or mitzvah for others. Allow them to assist in seder preparations, and the like. Our children and students learn by what we do much more loudly than by what we say. This is the great and penetrating trait of our forefather, Avraham.
We, at OCA, are grateful that our educational approach emphasizes strong academics with an emphasis on middot, mitzvot, and social-emotional development. We surround students with positive role models and examples of positive character. We understand that “who you are is truly more important than what you know.”
May we all see much nachat from our children and students, as they continue to develop into our future leaders, learning from us as role models and walking in the way of our forefathers.
Shabbat shalom!